Ma'am? In the interest of National Security, I need to see your Vagina.

On December 17, 1903, Orville Wright flew an airplane for twelve seconds, marking the first, engine-powered flight in the history of man. Throughout the century since then, airplanes have crashed due to engine problems, been blown up by bombs, and been flown into buildings (though Rudy Guliani may dispute that last one.) After these tragedies, safety and security measures were enacted, mostly unnoticed, and the traveling public went about their lives.

On December 22, 2001, a man named Richard Reid tried to blow up a plane with a bomb he had planted in his shoe. His attack was unsuccessful, thankfully keeping the phrase "it's gotta be the shoes" out of the bloody hands of Al Queida. After this incident, a strong new security measure was put in place requiring every airplane passenger in the United States to take off their shoes. (My dad would call this "fixing the barn door after the cows have left.)

I am not kidding. In 98 years and five days of human flight, one guy, one time tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his shoe, and now everyone who wants to fly needs to take their shoes off.

On December 25, 2009, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to blow up a U.S. bound plane with a bomb he had hidden in his underwear.

The result:



At least Britney Spears will be able to skip right through the checkpoints from now on...